Looking back

At the turn of the new year, I posted about my desire to NOT have a resolution for 2009. I want to be emptied of me completely. I tried to convey then, my reasoning in that I am afraid that even too much self-evaluation, too much "What do I need to change?" can come from a pit of selfishness that I need to avoid.

I found this quote on a bloggy-friend Abby's post this morning and it conveys EXACTLY where my heart is.

“The man who has faith is the man who is no longer looking at himself, and no longer looking to himself. He no longer looks at anything he once was. He does not look at what he is now. He does not [even] look at what he hopes to be as the result of his own efforts. He looks entirely to the Lord Jesus Christ and His finished work, and he rests on that alone. He has ceased to say, ‘Ah yes, I have committed terrible sins but I have done this and that…’ He stops saying that. If he goes on saying that, he has not got faith… Faith speaks in an entirely different manner and makes a man say, ‘Yes, I have sinned grievously, I have lived a life of sin… yet I know that I am a child of God because I am not resting on any righteousness of my own; my righteousness is in Jesus Christ, and God has put that to my account.’”


- D. M. Lloyd-Jones, quoted by Timothy Keller in The Message of Romans (Redeemer Presbyterian Church, 2003), 59.

Off to the gym now! Happy Wednesday!

Round and round and round we go!

Where we will stop, only HE knows!!!

Nathan and I LOVE,LOVE, LOVE living here in Wake Forest. It is a beautiful, sweet town with all the charm of small town living. Only a few minutes drive away is the "big city" of Raleigh, which to us is the perfect "big city"-all the bells and whistles, but not nearly as much congestion and headache.

We also know that, this area is SATURATED with people looking for ministry positions. I think both of us feel like we will probably be leaving W.F. to serve somewhere else. We would be OVER-THE-MOON to stay put, but we are being practical and preparing our hearts for going. It is exciting, but so, so SAD at the same time. No matter how mature, ready, stable, (fill in the blank with any adjective to describe and ADULT) that I THOUGHT I was in GA, I know that I didn't begin growing at all until we came here. It was the perfect soil we needed to be planted in to flourish. It is hard to think of leaving somewhere that has brought about so much GOOD change in your life. Hoenstly, I think it will be harder than when we moved here from GA. This feels like our home.

On the flip side, if we can't stay here, we are WIDE OPEN to go wherever the Lord sees fit. That is a thrilling thought to me. Once I get past the idea of having to leave here, it gives me goose bumps to think that the WORLD is full of places that could be our next "great soil" for the Lord's planting.

Nathan's resume will go out this week in response to posted openings. So far, he is sending them to places in TX, LA, NE, AR, AL, GA, and SC. Isn't that exciting?!?!?!?!?! I am praying that I can stay "cool" during this process. I am learning (through seeing all of our sebts friends)that this process can take months, so I can't be anxious or too zealous in this. We want the position to be the RIGHT position at the RIGHT church at the RIGHT time. (RIGHT=God's PERFECT Will). This will work out exactly how it is supposed to work out. We just have to be content to know what we will know whenever we know it.

Along the way, I hope to get more little love notes from the Lord like the one we got this morning. This morning we received the schedule for Nathan's severance checks. Nathan's last check will come on his graduation day. Now, if that doesn't tingle your spine...

Get Ready! Get Set! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Where, oh, where, oh where is Angela?

I stopped by briefly before to explain that I was ever-so-busy in Wifemamaland. still am. However, Nathan is in bed and the kids are tucked neatly into class (or something like that), so I am taking a quick train to Peaceandquietown for a few minutes.

Whaaaaaaaazuuuuup? Nathan was laid off last Tuesday. (Okay, so maybe I got off that train a little early and ended up in Abruptland!) It was a complete shocker, not that any of us should get too comfy in our paying jobs in this economy, but we really had no idea this was coming. They hired Nathan just over tow months ago for his strong experience, without even an open position. We just had no indication of a major lay-off happening this soon. Right now, you may find yourself asking, "What are you going to do with five children and no j-o-b?!?!?!" I asked myself that for a few minutes also. Then I contacted some great ladies and within 5 short minutes, had my answer. Within five minutes of sending a "help me, I need to be strong and I don't feel strong"- S.O.S, I was flooded with scripture that answered all of my fears and angst. Before Nathan walked through the door, I was controlled and ready to talk about our future and the steps we now needed to take without flooding him with emotion or fear. You see, the same God who had been sovereign over our lives when Nathan left to go to work on Tuesday morning, was still in control as he drove home Tuesday evening without a job.

The Lord provided some severance for us and Nathan is getting a head start on sending out ministry applications and resumes. With Nathan graduating in May, we were planning on looking into open positions then anyway. Part of me thinks that this was the Lord's way of closing the door on our "easy way out" and making it abundantly clear that Nathan was called to full-time ministry. The Lord has closed this door for a reason and we are working towards finding the new chapter of our life that He has written.

Until then, we are praying for wisdom, for strength, and for peace during this time of searching. Nathan and I have enjoyed a great week together, checking things off of our ever-growing to-do list. For Nathan, I am specifically praying for the Lord to keep him safe and to keep him protected. This is a time when the world's view of what our family "needs" could easily distract him (or any Husband/Daddy) from what he is called to do for the Lord. I am also praying for the place where we are headed-that they are kind, God-loving, Bible-living people that will love my family and accept us into their family with open arms.

As scary as this all may sound, I am REALLY excited. Having moved here four years ago and GROWN through all we have gone through, it is a blessing to know that the Lord is leading us to the next step in His plan for us. There are fears that creep in. I am not a robot. Overwhelmingly though, I am FILLED with joy knowing that God has us right where He wants us and that He is preparing a way for us.

Blessings to you tonight.

One more thing, please pray for my friend "Belle". Her story isn't mine to share, but her heart is broken tonight. She has been on my mind and I am praying that the Lord is with her tonight. If her name pops into your mind over the next few weeks, please lift her up before the throne.

Busy in Wifemamaland.

Sorry friends. I have been busy adventuring through Wifemamaland. I am still very busy there actually. Lots of BIG changes have come "down the pipe" for us over the last couple of weeks. (NO, I am not pregnant!) I can't really share too much, except to encourage you that God is caring for us, as always. We always know that He is, but it is in those times when His hand is all, but physically holding you, that you really appreciate the gravity of it.

I will leave you with this song. It is SUCH a wonderful reminder of how wrong-minded it is for us to think that Christ's blood promises us a life without pain or struggle. "The promise was: when everything fell, we'd be held" Praising the Lord for that hand that holds us.



Talk to you soon!! Wifemamaland calls!