So life is crazy these days! Last night we had rehearsal for a musical that my three older children are participating in. If I had known that Graycen was going to get a last-minute acceptance into this school, I wouldn't have let them participate this year. With school an issue now, it makes for a late night and too early of a morning on Thursday. But, like I have noted in my last post, we are going "oars out" and just looking forward to the performance next weekend.
This Thursday morning, this busy mama is T-I-R-E-D. After I got Graycen safely delivered, I came home and Nathan had to run out to get to class. I SOOOOOOOO wished that he could stay home, but he has a class for half the day and then has work :o( . The kids were tired and cranky and I was tired and cranky. That doesn't make for a very good start to the day.
I decided to FLIP IT and start over. This is how we did it. Let me apologize in advance for the quality, but I used my handy-dandy phone.*****Please turn off the site music at the bottom right, so that you can hear the music in the video.***
Sweet sugar pop, sugar pop rocks-y pop, You don't stop `til the sweet beat drops.!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
"OARS OUT!!"
This is where I have been so much lately. No. I haven't been at school with Graycen. However, the fact that SHE has been there has kept me fairly busy. It is just one of those seasons in life where I don't have much time for much of anything other than being "Honey" to Nathan and "Mama" to the kids. The schedule is completely out of whack with the additions of morning and afternoon carpool, so the gym has been a little off as well. No worries though. We will all settle into our new schedule soon enough.
Many times in our line of work, these seasons come when we don't have any time for anything it seems. Over the past year especially, I have learned that if I am to do this job rightly (as in, according to the way God has designed me to do it) I shouldn't resist those seasons. I should fully submit to them.
I know that there are women reading this who are picturing me laying down at my doorstep to become a mat for walking on, but that isn't what I am saying at all. Instead of picturing a doormat, picture a boat on the river. There are times when it is appropriate, helpful even, to paddle with all your might with the current. Other times, it is best to go "oars out" and let the river's force move you along. In those cases, refusing to cease paddling can be dangerous. It could even cause your boat to capsize!
So THAT is a better picture of what I am doing these days; going "oars out". The flows of change, regarding Graycen's new school and the beginnings of our homeschool year at home, are creating change in our days and I am in a time when I am re-seeking where best to place things like my quiet time with the Lord, the gym, blogging, etc. Some of these things (with the exception of my time spent with my Lord) may be simply removed from my life for a time if need be. We'll see. It is a season of sacrifice and MUCH grace for me. I have to be willing to sacrifice or I will not have the grace to provide to my family or myself.
So, for now, I am off to start our homeschooling day here at home! It will seem like a blink before it is time to go and get Graycen, so we have to get moving!
I wanted to point out one last thing before I go. For any of you have ever been rafting or canoeing, you can recall that those "oars out" times, when the water is making white caps and bouncing the boat around, are the times that you usually hear "WOW! That was fun! Let's do THAT again!" from the passengers of the boat. They are the times that you look back on with excitement at the end of your day. I am guessing it will be same with life.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Vapor Cont'd
Wedding China Meets The Murrays
*if you haven't already, go here to find out why I am documenting this dinner*
Our Dinner Table. I don't have a nice table cloth or placemats, but I wanted to use the china anyway. Don't you just love my decorative napkins?
We even set a salad plate for Annagail. Of course, we didn't actually HAND the plate to her, but she did have a plate. Nathan gave me the salt and pepper shakers for our first anniversary. The kids each took a turn fake-shaking salt onto their plate.
The Children's Plate
The Adult's Plate
I am thinking that this might be an end-of-the-week tradition. As a matter of fact, I told Nathan that he could feel free to get me whatever pieces (and there are MANY) of the pattern that I don't have. Nathan and I enjoyed this so much and the kids did too.
Now the kids are in bed and Nathan and I are about to start washing up the dishes. I am left wondering why I didn't do this sooner.
Vapor.
I think that the Lord has been teaching me a lot lately about the brevity of this life.
I mentioned recently all of the loss of earthly life that I have known, directly or indirectly, as of late. I posted about my legacy and how I am determined to leave a legacy of love. I am also thinking more these days about how I am treasuring my family and my life here on earth. These are all ponderings that God is using to mold me now; to shape me into the child HE made me to be to Him. It isn't even so much about being the Wife or the Mother He wants me to be. It is just about simply being His child. It isn't always fun, but I can feel the growth in my heart.
This may seem weird, I have been thinking about my wedding china. I know it is weird, but I have been. You see, when Nathan and I got married, we received twelve place settings of beautiful china. We moved to a new state shortly after we married and put our china into Nathan's parents' attic. When we finally built our home in GA, we wanted to wait until we had a beautiful cabinet to display it in. Shortly after we moved into our home though (like 20 days later!), we had Graycen, our first baby. Four more babies, nearly ten years of marriage (in September!), a call into seminary and full-time ministry later, we still don't have the cabinet. It is just the way it is. Life and the blessings God has gifted us with have come far before a china cabinet and we wouldn't change it for anything. All the while, our lovely, delicately embossed china that we spent hours picking out in the months before our wedding, was sitting in boxes collecting dust in my in-laws' attic. It seemed like such a waste.
Sometime in the last two months, I began wanting to have my china here so badly! I explained to Nathan that if something unthinkable happened and I lost him, not only would I mourn for him (obviously), but that I would mourn the fact that we had never once eaten off of that china together. I went on to tell him that I would carry it all out into the street and smash it into a million pieces, because if I hadn't used our wedding china with the man that I made the vows with that those beautiful pieces were meant to celebrate, then I didn't want to use them EVER. Of course, it was a weighty image; me standing in the street, bawling my eyes out, throwing delicate china onto the cement. Nathan, my witty-to-an-almost-fault husband, understood exactly what I was saying, but couldn't help, but to make one request. He said, "Oh Honey! That would be awful! I have one request though. Would you, even just once, yell out HOOPAH! when you throw a plate?!?!?! I have always wanted to do that!"
All this to say that on my last trip to GA, I brought back my wedding china. It isn't in a beautiful china cabinet and set up on display so that everyone can "ooh" and "aah" at it, but it is here. I made room for it at the top of one of my kitchen cabinets. I took each piece out of the original gift boxes they came in and carefully placed them on the shelf. I decided that, in September, I would make a wonderful meal and set a gorgeous table in honor of our tenth wedding anniversary. I imagined the whole thing in my mind and even teared up thinking about what a wonderful occasion it would be to use our china for the first time, even if it wasn't going to happen in the spacious dining room with the shiny new tablecloth and beside the magnificent china cabinet I had envisioned in those months before our wedding.
This morning I read about Christopher Laurie . He is the son of Greg Laurie, a well-known evangelist. He was killed in a car accident yesterday and leaves on the earth a beautiful little daughter, a young wife, and the sweet baby girl that they were expecting to be born in November. Again, my heart hit the floor. By all earthly accounts, this wasn't supposed to happen this way. This family had every reason to be celebrating the coming life in the next few months! They were probably picking names and buying all of the stuff that we all go out and buy when we are waiting for a baby to arrive. Yet here they are now a blink of an eye later, jolted from their joy and facing this loss that most of us cannot even let our minds wonder to. This isn't a chapter that is written in the "What to Expect..." books. Although we can find comfort in God's Word about it, it cannot be planned or prepared for. There was no notice or flags indicating the arrival of this loss for this family.
I cannot (and I truly mean those words) imagine the weight of the pain that is in the chest of Brittany Laurie right now as she mourns the loss of her beloved while also carrying the child that was supposed to have a very different life than what she will now have. I have prayed for Brittany Laurie, her daughter Stella, the daughter that she is carrying, and the entire Laurie family this morning and will continue to do so.
All of a sudden, even though it is already July, September seemed so far away. My life is a vapor. It is fleeting, just like all of these people that have left the earth before they thought they would. So, tonight I am setting a grand table. We will all still be a little crammed into the area that our table fits into in our little family-housing apartment that we are blessed with by the seminary and I am sure one of the kids will, at some point, either throw something down, or cry, or smear something on the wall, or all of the above. We are having what was planned for dinner tonight, Mexican Chicken with black beans and Spanish rice, but we will be eating it a little differently than originally planned.Can you take a guess what our family will be eating on tonight?
I know that, in the end, it won't be whether or not we ever eat off of our wedding china that my family will treasure. However, I want them to live their lives in the present tense. I want them to give NOW, to serve NOW, to love NOW. I want them to feel burden NOW for the lost people in their lives and to not hold back in fear for what they may not get a chance to do tomorrow. In the end, this china will burn up like wood, but I hope to see the jewels of love-shown, compassion-given, and lives-lived like Christ left shining in the ashes.
I mentioned recently all of the loss of earthly life that I have known, directly or indirectly, as of late. I posted about my legacy and how I am determined to leave a legacy of love. I am also thinking more these days about how I am treasuring my family and my life here on earth. These are all ponderings that God is using to mold me now; to shape me into the child HE made me to be to Him. It isn't even so much about being the Wife or the Mother He wants me to be. It is just about simply being His child. It isn't always fun, but I can feel the growth in my heart.
This may seem weird, I have been thinking about my wedding china. I know it is weird, but I have been. You see, when Nathan and I got married, we received twelve place settings of beautiful china. We moved to a new state shortly after we married and put our china into Nathan's parents' attic. When we finally built our home in GA, we wanted to wait until we had a beautiful cabinet to display it in. Shortly after we moved into our home though (like 20 days later!), we had Graycen, our first baby. Four more babies, nearly ten years of marriage (in September!), a call into seminary and full-time ministry later, we still don't have the cabinet. It is just the way it is. Life and the blessings God has gifted us with have come far before a china cabinet and we wouldn't change it for anything. All the while, our lovely, delicately embossed china that we spent hours picking out in the months before our wedding, was sitting in boxes collecting dust in my in-laws' attic. It seemed like such a waste.
Sometime in the last two months, I began wanting to have my china here so badly! I explained to Nathan that if something unthinkable happened and I lost him, not only would I mourn for him (obviously), but that I would mourn the fact that we had never once eaten off of that china together. I went on to tell him that I would carry it all out into the street and smash it into a million pieces, because if I hadn't used our wedding china with the man that I made the vows with that those beautiful pieces were meant to celebrate, then I didn't want to use them EVER. Of course, it was a weighty image; me standing in the street, bawling my eyes out, throwing delicate china onto the cement. Nathan, my witty-to-an-almost-fault husband, understood exactly what I was saying, but couldn't help, but to make one request. He said, "Oh Honey! That would be awful! I have one request though. Would you, even just once, yell out HOOPAH! when you throw a plate?!?!?! I have always wanted to do that!"
All this to say that on my last trip to GA, I brought back my wedding china. It isn't in a beautiful china cabinet and set up on display so that everyone can "ooh" and "aah" at it, but it is here. I made room for it at the top of one of my kitchen cabinets. I took each piece out of the original gift boxes they came in and carefully placed them on the shelf. I decided that, in September, I would make a wonderful meal and set a gorgeous table in honor of our tenth wedding anniversary. I imagined the whole thing in my mind and even teared up thinking about what a wonderful occasion it would be to use our china for the first time, even if it wasn't going to happen in the spacious dining room with the shiny new tablecloth and beside the magnificent china cabinet I had envisioned in those months before our wedding.
This morning I read about Christopher Laurie . He is the son of Greg Laurie, a well-known evangelist. He was killed in a car accident yesterday and leaves on the earth a beautiful little daughter, a young wife, and the sweet baby girl that they were expecting to be born in November. Again, my heart hit the floor. By all earthly accounts, this wasn't supposed to happen this way. This family had every reason to be celebrating the coming life in the next few months! They were probably picking names and buying all of the stuff that we all go out and buy when we are waiting for a baby to arrive. Yet here they are now a blink of an eye later, jolted from their joy and facing this loss that most of us cannot even let our minds wonder to. This isn't a chapter that is written in the "What to Expect..." books. Although we can find comfort in God's Word about it, it cannot be planned or prepared for. There was no notice or flags indicating the arrival of this loss for this family.
I cannot (and I truly mean those words) imagine the weight of the pain that is in the chest of Brittany Laurie right now as she mourns the loss of her beloved while also carrying the child that was supposed to have a very different life than what she will now have. I have prayed for Brittany Laurie, her daughter Stella, the daughter that she is carrying, and the entire Laurie family this morning and will continue to do so.
All of a sudden, even though it is already July, September seemed so far away. My life is a vapor. It is fleeting, just like all of these people that have left the earth before they thought they would. So, tonight I am setting a grand table. We will all still be a little crammed into the area that our table fits into in our little family-housing apartment that we are blessed with by the seminary and I am sure one of the kids will, at some point, either throw something down, or cry, or smear something on the wall, or all of the above. We are having what was planned for dinner tonight, Mexican Chicken with black beans and Spanish rice, but we will be eating it a little differently than originally planned.Can you take a guess what our family will be eating on tonight?
I know that, in the end, it won't be whether or not we ever eat off of our wedding china that my family will treasure. However, I want them to live their lives in the present tense. I want them to give NOW, to serve NOW, to love NOW. I want them to feel burden NOW for the lost people in their lives and to not hold back in fear for what they may not get a chance to do tomorrow. In the end, this china will burn up like wood, but I hope to see the jewels of love-shown, compassion-given, and lives-lived like Christ left shining in the ashes.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
What is your legacy?
I've been meditating on the song Legacy by Nicole Nordeman lately. It should be playing from my songlist below. I heard this song a long while ago and it made an impression. The words speak SUCH truth to me whenever I hear them. How will my children remember me? What will they know to be true about their Mama's heart? Will they be able to say that, above all other things, I showed love?
I want them too. I think that they will, but still, it is a DAILY thought of mine. It is tough to do when so much around me points to the world's view of success and achievement.
Sometimes it is very easy to set goals that aren't where they should be. I have seen people beat themselves up over not achieving success in certain areas of their lives, only to overlook some pretty wonderful things they have shined in. On the contrary, too many people set out to succeed at other goals that aren't worth the time spent pondering them. Those people usually like to have admirers other than the Lord. Often times, those too are the people that miss out on some of the most precious gems that the Lord has hidden in their journey, because their eyes are looking in the incorrect direction.
Don't be that person. Don't set lofty goals that look good to the world, but will burn up like wood before the Lord. Leave a legacy on this earth that MATTERS.
Legacy by Nicole Nordeman *you can click on the song title in the playlist to listen as you read
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides the temporary trappings of this world
Chorus
I want to leave a legacy.
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering,
A child of mercy and grace who blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy .
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Chorus
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
I want them too. I think that they will, but still, it is a DAILY thought of mine. It is tough to do when so much around me points to the world's view of success and achievement.
Sometimes it is very easy to set goals that aren't where they should be. I have seen people beat themselves up over not achieving success in certain areas of their lives, only to overlook some pretty wonderful things they have shined in. On the contrary, too many people set out to succeed at other goals that aren't worth the time spent pondering them. Those people usually like to have admirers other than the Lord. Often times, those too are the people that miss out on some of the most precious gems that the Lord has hidden in their journey, because their eyes are looking in the incorrect direction.
Don't be that person. Don't set lofty goals that look good to the world, but will burn up like wood before the Lord. Leave a legacy on this earth that MATTERS.
Legacy by Nicole Nordeman *you can click on the song title in the playlist to listen as you read
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides the temporary trappings of this world
Chorus
I want to leave a legacy.
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering,
A child of mercy and grace who blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy .
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Chorus
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Monday is the BIG day!
Graycen starts school for the first time (outside of our home) on Monday. She is going into the second grade.
The backpack is loaded. The lunchbox is ready for filling. The uniforms are bought, pressed, and hanging in her closet. The shoes are new and shiny and lined up under her uniforms in her closet. She is ready. She is excited. I am SO happy about what she is feeling right now.
The past few days have been so eventful, as we have been shopping and getting her ready. I have watched, almost sometimes seemingly from a distance, as she has started this unexpected bloom already. When we went shopping for the items on her teacher's supply lists, Graycen used phrases like, "That is way too baby-ish Mom." and "I am really going more for a solid pink theme this year." WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? This afternoon before heading to the pool I had her try on all of her uniforms and just make sure everything fit the way we wanted it too. She was glowing in her little khaki jumper. With her new haircut, she just looked so...together and ready. She cannot stop smiling. I am praying, praying, PRAYING that this experience is everything that we are all hoping it is.
Last night, I allowed Graycen to stay up a little later than usual so that she could help me label all of her supplies. When we were done, we kissed her and sent her to her bed. An hour so so later, I went to my bed and as I passed her room, I saw her pop down onto her pillow. I walked in a put my head right next to her's as she pretended to sleep. I whispered, "Graycen, I know that you are awake sweetie." into her ear. She still laid quietly with her eyes closed, trying to pretend that she was asleep. I said, "Are you as excited as I am and can't sleep?" She popped up like a rocket and said, "YES MOM! I cannot sleep because I keep thinking about school!!". As I hugged her and tucked her back in, I thought about what a blessing it is that she is so eager and ready for this. This whole situation is absolutely God's divine plan. If any other of the three that we applied to this school had been accepted, this would be such a different beginning to this journey for us. Graycen was born to be the leader in this tribe of kids.
I love, love, LOVE the Lord all the time. However, tonight I am feeling especially comforted, protected, lifted up, and Fathered tonight. None of the fears that I have had are present now. A lot of it has been settled by the joy he has placed in the heart of my little girl. It is very hard to look at her, as her eyes are so bright with happiness and excitement and as she literally bounces from one foot to the other, and have a bit of fear. He knew the angst in my heart and He has settled it. I LOVE HIM and I feel like a true child of his tonight; safe and provided for.
This is a GREAT way to start a day of worship tomorrow!
PRAISING GOD tonight friends.
The backpack is loaded. The lunchbox is ready for filling. The uniforms are bought, pressed, and hanging in her closet. The shoes are new and shiny and lined up under her uniforms in her closet. She is ready. She is excited. I am SO happy about what she is feeling right now.
The past few days have been so eventful, as we have been shopping and getting her ready. I have watched, almost sometimes seemingly from a distance, as she has started this unexpected bloom already. When we went shopping for the items on her teacher's supply lists, Graycen used phrases like, "That is way too baby-ish Mom." and "I am really going more for a solid pink theme this year." WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? This afternoon before heading to the pool I had her try on all of her uniforms and just make sure everything fit the way we wanted it too. She was glowing in her little khaki jumper. With her new haircut, she just looked so...together and ready. She cannot stop smiling. I am praying, praying, PRAYING that this experience is everything that we are all hoping it is.
Last night, I allowed Graycen to stay up a little later than usual so that she could help me label all of her supplies. When we were done, we kissed her and sent her to her bed. An hour so so later, I went to my bed and as I passed her room, I saw her pop down onto her pillow. I walked in a put my head right next to her's as she pretended to sleep. I whispered, "Graycen, I know that you are awake sweetie." into her ear. She still laid quietly with her eyes closed, trying to pretend that she was asleep. I said, "Are you as excited as I am and can't sleep?" She popped up like a rocket and said, "YES MOM! I cannot sleep because I keep thinking about school!!". As I hugged her and tucked her back in, I thought about what a blessing it is that she is so eager and ready for this. This whole situation is absolutely God's divine plan. If any other of the three that we applied to this school had been accepted, this would be such a different beginning to this journey for us. Graycen was born to be the leader in this tribe of kids.
I love, love, LOVE the Lord all the time. However, tonight I am feeling especially comforted, protected, lifted up, and Fathered tonight. None of the fears that I have had are present now. A lot of it has been settled by the joy he has placed in the heart of my little girl. It is very hard to look at her, as her eyes are so bright with happiness and excitement and as she literally bounces from one foot to the other, and have a bit of fear. He knew the angst in my heart and He has settled it. I LOVE HIM and I feel like a true child of his tonight; safe and provided for.
This is a GREAT way to start a day of worship tomorrow!
PRAISING GOD tonight friends.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Emotional Grab-bag!
This is what I am these days. DO you remember those? I was always thekid who liked to buy the mystery grab bags at fairs and such. I liked the surprise of not knowing what I would find inside.
With emotions, I could do without the grab bag, but it is par for the course right now. Graycen starts school on MONDAY!! Oh, one day I am SUPER excited about all she is about to experience and some days I am not. I have A LOT to do before MOnday, but most of it can't be started until Friday. Her open house is tomorrow night, so we will get accurate supply lists and all then.
Tomorrow afternoon, she is getting a haircut. Usually, I cut her hair, but she wants her hair short again, so I am going to put her in the hands of my hairdresser for that. Friday will be a full day of shopping for supplies! Saturday, we will attend the school's uniform sale to try and find her a good supply of uniforms. And then on Sunday I will continue to pray that I won't be a COMPLETE emotional wreck on Monday when we drop her off.
With emotions, I could do without the grab bag, but it is par for the course right now. Graycen starts school on MONDAY!! Oh, one day I am SUPER excited about all she is about to experience and some days I am not. I have A LOT to do before MOnday, but most of it can't be started until Friday. Her open house is tomorrow night, so we will get accurate supply lists and all then.
Tomorrow afternoon, she is getting a haircut. Usually, I cut her hair, but she wants her hair short again, so I am going to put her in the hands of my hairdresser for that. Friday will be a full day of shopping for supplies! Saturday, we will attend the school's uniform sale to try and find her a good supply of uniforms. And then on Sunday I will continue to pray that I won't be a COMPLETE emotional wreck on Monday when we drop her off.
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