She Speaks. She Writes. She would LOVE to attend this conference!

Many people say to me, "You should write a book!" My answer is usually, "In all of my freetime?" Ha!

Also this year, I have had the blessing of leading a ladies'discipleship class and have discovered that I am completely comfortable leading a large group of women in thi setting. Who knew?!?!?! This comes as a HUGE relief to this wife of a church planter that is headed to Chicago in one year. (That was one of my secret anxieties that is now scratched off of the list- PRAISE THE LORD.)

For three years I have wanted to attend this conference. I love writing and would love to learn how to better tune my craft, so that I am more affective in glorifying God and inspiring other women.

Maybe this year...

Living Life

I have been absent for a LOOOOOONG time from this blog- a really. long. time.

Life has been so busy (big surprise) in our home on a daily basis, but we have also removed a few things and then added in new things also. We have also begun all of our prep work for our move to Chicago in around 18 months. (YIKES!!) There is a lot to do and Nathan and the team are planning many events in the coming months- fundraisers and other events to spread the word about our church plant. I'll post more here soon.

Balance, balance, balance!

I'm going to get back to writing this week, so check back soon.

~Angela

Time To Grieve

The children were told Saturday morning and we cried with them and held them.

In SC, we met with the funeral home and made cremation arrangements.

The church has been secured for the memorial service in a week and a half.

The obituary has been written and delivered.

Now to deal with my heart that has to accept she is gone.

It has been the Lord's perfect blessing that, since Friday, I have been able to hold the image my Grandmother whole and in Heaven at the front of my mind- like a wall that blinds my view of anything else. This morning, my heart, in all it's aching and sadness, has pushed through that wall and revealed the reality that my Grandmother isn't HERE anymore and I miss her so, so much. The tears won't stop and, for now, I am not going to try to stop them.

Sweet comfort comes in the way of my 7 year old son's arms around my neck and head on my chest. He doesn't know what to say, but he is keeping watchful vigil over me this morning. It is his lack of words that makes his comfort even sweeter- no talking me out of it, no trying to understand it or reason it away, just providing comfort through it.

I'm in good hands.

Thank you for your kind words and prayers.

~Angela

My Grandmother

~Grace Louise Parker April 16, 1925- June 25, 2010~

Beloved wife of Martin, Devoted Mother of four children, Loving Grandmother of six, and Proud Great Grandmother to seven.

My Grandmother was graceful and beautiful. Some of my favorite memories with her are of me sitting on the floor of “Benalee's Coiffure” - the beauty parlor where she had her hair done every Saturday morning for over 25 years and watching her laugh and share stories with the other "usuals". She always seemed so sophisticated to me, even in the later years of her life when her body was failing. I always remember thinking that my Grandmother was so tall, but in hindsight I think it was just her strong character and dignity that gave her a few extra inches in everyone's mind.

Of all the things she modeled for me, and similar to Nathan's Gran who went to Heaven a few years ago, it was her love for her husband that I think has made the largest impact on my life. My Grandfather passed away years before I was born, but I knew him through her. I knew every detail about him through her stories and through her palpable love for that man. He died young and she lived the rest of her life in love with him and him only. She honored him through those stories and through her devotion to his memory all these years. Sometimes when I see his picture, I can almost imagine his voice saying something that she had told me he would say. Her eyes lit up when she would tell us a “Granddaddy” story and she would seem to physically get lighter.

Last night, Nathan called to pray with my Mom and while they prayed, my Grandmother met Jesus. I am blessed to have had her in my life. I am blessed that she knew my children and knew them well. I will always treasure that myoldest daughter carries her name and I pray she grows up to have even HALF of the strength that my G had. Our hearts hurt deeply over this loss, but I know that we will see her again. As we mourn her loss here, we are comforted by the knowledge that she is present with our Lord and Savior. Through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross and through her belief that He died for her sins, she will no longer know pain, or tears, or death. She will only know the everlasting JOY that comes through the worship and praise of our Father in Heaven.

I love you G. I miss you very much, but I will see you whole and healed again one day.

*The photo above was taken on June 5th, when she shared a magical day with our family at the SC Aquarium. She was in her wheelchair, but we all had such a wonderful time celebrating Cooper's 7th birthday. It was a day that, as I watched her face and the faces of my children with her, I felt the Lord's favor on us. Those memories for my children are treasures that will serve as a reminder of just how much the Lord loves us and cares for us.

Silence Is Golden

I heard this song on the radio this morning and it spoke volumes to my heart.



Here are the words:
God loves a lullaby
In a mothers tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves the drunkards cry,
The soldiers plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.

The woman holding on for life,
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what's been done,
The silence when the words won't come
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah
Better than a church bell ringing,
Better than a choir singing out,singing out.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

Better than a church bell ringing
better than a choir singin' loud
singin' loud

This is such a wonderful message. I think there are many messages in this actually, but the one I took this morning is humility. In our humility, God's might is shown to the world MUCH more loudly than when we stand on our chairs and bellow.

I am a visual person, so this is the picture God gave me this morning: I am much more encouraged and honored when I observe my child changing, maturing, making good choices over a period of time and without any attention seeking than I am when they say things like, "I am never going to ________ again." See, a momentary muster of courage to blurt out a wish is not nearly as evident of heart change as is the long-term girth that it takes to actually LIVE that change in your life. That is the evidence of growth and change. For all the loud AMENING we have the ability to do, I believe that the Lord is glorified MOST, when our very lives are in humble agreement with His word.

Does this sound familiar?

So, I am trying to be more accountable with my time. Part of my self-discipline training is that I need to get more done here at home- plain and simple. I need to do MORE laundry, MORE dishes, MORE of nearly everything. I do work in my home, really I do. However, I need to work MORE in order to live in the state of organization and cleanliness that I want and feel the Lord desires me to provide for my family. SO, I am working on it.

A friend and I decided to hold each other accountable for our time. GREAT IDEA, by the way. Each morning, we email each other a list of what we will be doing and around 8pm, we check in with each other via text. There is no judgment of lecture, no scrutinizing, just checking in. Yesterday was FANTASTIC. I accomplished most of my goals, but had a few I didn't get to. That's okay. My friend got 90% of hers completed also, so we were off to a great start. I promptly sent her my list for today and was ready to have another productive day.

Then, today happened.

By 7:30 am, a shelving unit that stores my entire set of "everyday" dishes and mugs TOPPLED OVER ON TOP OF MY 6 yr old SON!!! He was fine, but it scared us to death. I lost exactly HALF of all of my dishes, so now I technically don't have enough for our whole family to eat off of. HA! No big deal. Cooper was okay and that was truly all that mattered. I kept him home today just to make sure he was okay, because the case literally pinned him to the ground with his arms sticking out. It was absolutely frightening!

There went my morning.

Then, I got a phone call from some sweet friend of ours. Technically, I got the call from the husband of the pair and he was asking if I would watch their darling 9 month old, so he could have a "Mother's Day Redo". I literally said, "Uh-oh. Sure thing!" It was my joy to keep her and I am glad they got to have some time alone.

There went my afternoon.

Am I upset that I kept that sweet girl? No way. Did I finish my list? No way. Still, I ministered to my friends and I think there HAS to be time in our lives for that when the opportunity arises. Flexibility has long been a theme here and I think it is just oh-so-important! No matter how much you have to get done in a day, if you are so rigid that you can't overlook some of it to minister to someone who needs you, you are doing something wrong.

Now, I am getting off of this computer and going to clean the HORRENDOUSLY DIRTY bathrooms that I am COMPLETELY EMBARRASSED that my friends used while they were here. They are bad. I would post a picture, but I am afraid my blog would get an obscenity rating. Seriously folks, b-a-d. The funny thing is, I sent them to MY bathroom because I knew the children's bathroom was bad. THEN, I bathed the Littles in MY bathroom and saw how bad it was and nearly fell over that I had SENT them there. Sheesh. I am so happy that they are friends that love at all times.

(Sorry if that is TMI. You hear about all my good days. You should be able to hear about my scummy bathrooms too. Hehehe)

OH, and there is an ENTIRE BOX of Krispy Kreme doughnuts (Nathan ordered weeks ago from a neighbor who was raising money for a trip) sitting on my entertainment center that I have not touched and am planning to take to our staff at the church tomorrow morning. I don't even WANT one. Hows THAT for self-discipline?!?!?! word.

Practice what you preach

I cannot tell you how many times I will be in the middle of something and one of my children just walk up talking to me, as if I was just sitting there waiting for them to walk up and need something from me. It drives me BANANAS. Why? Because it is really selfish- as if the whole world is here waiting patiently for that child's next move. It says, "What I need/want is THE most important thing under Heaven, so I am going to force you to hear me RIGHT NOW while it is convenient for ME."

Today (during my Thursday walk with my Sista-friends), one of my sista-friends said, "We have to learn to not barge in on God." I immediately had a picture of God (bare with me) sitting at His big desk in the sky (stay with me) and me just barging in whenever it is convenient with whatever want/need/request/or affection I NEED to tell Him at whatever moment. How RUDE! It happens though.

Now, we can talk to God at any time and all day long, but OH what sweet time in prayer it is when we approach him with the respect and honor He so richly deserves. We need to come to God humbly, seeking His attention in His time and at His will. We should spend time in honor of him, praising Him, long before we give him our wish list of wants/needs. Our hearts should be bent towards the goal of leaving time with the Lord knowing that we honored Him during that time more than just completed a task.

I obviously cannot speak for the Lord, but I know when my children barge in on me I have a VERY difficult time even listening to them at all. Usually, they get sent back to where they came with instructions to try again later. YIKES!