It is often said, by people who don't especially like shopping for others, that "Father's & Mother's should be honored on more than just one day a year. We should honor them EVERY day!" I hope that I honor my husband more than just a few special moments a year. In the same regard, those of us who are missing that key relationship in our lives, don't often spend one day of our lives that we don't long for the return of that person.
Whether you lost your Dad through death of physical body or from death of a relationship, you and I know that a day doesn't pass that your heart doesn't think of them. The pain from that loss echos through your life each and every day, but often in stange ways.
I miss my Daddy. Even on the lovliest of days, an ever-so-slight rememberance can seize my heart in pain for the loss of that relationship- for myself, for Nathan, and for my children. It doesn't go away. It doesn't fade with time. It hurts the same today as it did the very first day, if not more. Knowing that his life goes on without us is gut-wrenching and is a tool Satan uses to keep the burns fresh and fleshy in my heart. The wounds left require almost daily scaling away, in order that I am ready, should that day one day come when he seeks to know us again.
I am grateful for the Lord who keeps me as His daughter. He washes me with love mixed graciously with living water and renews that part of my flesh that is left charred and bitter. I cannot run fast enough to escape his concern for me. He won't allow even my sin to keep us apart for long, because He presses me to see it and rid my heart of it. He moves in my life and provides more than the food I eat. He gives me rich morsels from His Word that direct my path and show me the goodness of His sovereignty- in the joy of sunshine and in the cold, damp rain. He loves me.
I know that many live with this familiar pain and many are seeking that Fatherly love every day. I pray that you will fall into the arms of the Lord and let him wash you with His grace. His strength cannot be threatened and His love exceeds our expectations on each and every day.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Many people say to me, "You should write a book!" My answer is usually, "In all of my freetime?" Ha!
Also this year, I have had the blessing of leading a ladies'discipleship class and have discovered that I am completely comfortable leading a large group of women in thi setting. Who knew?!?!?! This comes as a HUGE relief to this wife of a church planter that is headed to Chicago in one year. (That was one of my secret anxieties that is now scratched off of the list- PRAISE THE LORD.)
For three years I have wanted to attend this conference. I love writing and would love to learn how to better tune my craft, so that I am more affective in glorifying God and inspiring other women.
Maybe this year...