Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Simple Prayer

Sometimes, I get so bogged down with life that I overcomplicate prayer. I get in this mindset that I it has to be quiet in the room, or I need to quote scripture, or that is has to be beautiful words that will maybe impress Him. Doesn't that sound silly?!?!?!?! I forget about WHO it is that I am talking to and what HE desires of me.

Today at lunch it was Ella's turn to pray. At 3 1/2 yrs old, I am trying to gently steer her away from the standard, "Thank you for the food."-type prayers and encourage her to speak to God in these times, so before she started I reminded her to remember WHO she was talking to. We closed our eyes and bowed our heads and she started, in her sweet, little voice:

"God.................... I love you.............................Amen."

It was beautiful. It was simple. It reminded me of why I was made; to glorify HIM. I distinctly remember thinking "Me too." when she said it. Prayer isn't really about me; not really. It is a means God has given me to communicate with Him and to share my life with Him, of course. But, ultimately, it is my means to praise and glorify Him; a way to show my adoration to him and to worship Him. It doesn't have to be some long, proper speech that could be typed out, framed, and hung on a wall. He just wants me to ACTIVELY be His child; to love on Him.

I think that I WILL type this sweet prayer down that my little Ella made this afternoon. As simple as it is, I imagine that her Father in Heaven got the same goosebumps I did when He heard her say : o)

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


I set up a profile on Facebook at least a year ago, but I left it pretty abandoned until recently. A few of my friends here use it, so I try to check in every so often. In the last few months, I have either been able to contact or have been contacted by MANY of my old friends from the high school days. No joke, it has really been neat to see everyone grown-up and with spouses, and children. Many of these people are from my youth group at the church I attended. It is really amazing. Now, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law are on it too. I have gotten in contact with our two little cousins that were our flower girls and aren't so little anymore. It is nice to keep up with them. It is nice to be able to keep up with EVERYONE that I have connected with. It is different than blogging, because it is really jsut a quick update, not a place for journaling. Like any of the new networking sites, you ahve to keep gaurd over things that other people can place on their own site, but you have to give permission before anything gets put on your page.

So, if you have some free time, check it out. It is free, but it is addicitng!!!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

It gets worse before it gets better...right?!?!?!?

I sure hope so.

I had gotten down to a handful of boxes. Then we started digging into that handful and now my house looks like a yard sale exploded all over it!!! I am finding LOTS that will indeed find it's way into our yard sale at the end of the month, but a lot just needs a nice, simple home here. Where on earth am I going to put all of this STUFF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

We're going up! We must get shelves, shelves, and more shelves!!! Why do I feel a Home Depot trip in my very near future?

Monday, April 7, 2008

A Very Grown Up Conversation With a Very Little Boy

People always say that every child is different and I know that is true even with my own. They all handle things differently and they have SUCH different personalities.

My 4yr old son, I have been told, has a personality much like his Uncle Brandon did (Nathan's brother), so it didn't surprise anyone when, upon being told of his Great Grandmother's passing, he went and hid behind the chair in his room. He didn't want to talk to us. He seemed very mad at us. We just let him have his space and eventually he came out and seemed okay even though he still didn't want to talk about it at all. He seemed fairly normal at the funeral and at the events surrounding it. Since then, he has been very matter of fact about it, even arguing with my 3 yr old who is convinced that her Gran Gran is calling her at night to see how she is doing (and I am not telling her any different. Who am I to know whether she is or isn't being comforted in that way right?). I just figured that Cooper had dealt with this pain in his own way and that he would talk to me if he needed to.

Tonight, he needed to apparently.

As I was saying our bedtime prayers with the kids, it was Cooper's turn, but he didn't start. He just sat there looking straight ahead. I prompted him to pray by saying, "Coop, it's is your turn." He still just sat there. Then he quickly looked up at me and said...

Coop: Mom.

Me: Yes?

Coop: Guess what?


Coop: It has been 4 weeks since Gran-Gran died.

SILENCE... I was so shocked that he even knew that. It floored me that he had been keeping track and in that short sentence, all of his pain and hurt that he had been keeping inside came rushing out in the look on his face. I went over and sat down next to him because I could tell he was about to cry. He said...

Coop: How did she die, Mom?

Me: Well, baby, she lived a very long life and that night when she went to sleep. While she was asleep, her heart and lungs just stopped working and she went to be with Jesus. She didn't hurt and she doesn't hurt now.

Coop: (very mad and crying now) Well... I MISS HER and I still love her and I want her here, on earth.

This is when Mama was crying too and just holding him and letting him get it all out. WOW. That was all I could think. I was so sad for him and how his little heart was breaking, but I was SO PROUD of him at the same time. He was communicating this with me; letting it out. "What a big boy!" was what I kept thinking as I cried with him and his head was buried in my chest.

Me: Cooper, I am so happy that you trusted me with your feelings. I love Gran too and so do ALL of us. She was a wonderful Grandmother and we are so thankful that we knew her and we WILL see her again in heaven.

Coop: But she won't be at my birthday party in June...

So, needless to say, I have been crying most of the night. He is asleep now and wasn't crying when I tucked him in. As sad as this whole conversation was to have, I still am just so thankful that I got to have it with him; that he HAD the conversation with someone.

I LOVE learning about my children. It is always such a great event to me when something like this conversation happens and I get a CLUE as to how to better parent them, individually. He just needs time. That is how he deals. The fact that he knew how many weeks it had been, tells me that he was processing it all this time. He didn't seem to be avoiding it or suppressing it maybe, but just ever-so-slowly allowing himself to deal with it until tonight when he obviously was ready to talk about it and ask questions and to let it hurt for a bit.

Thank You Lord that you are our comforter. Please comfort my little boy's heart as he deals with this pain. Give him peace tonight as he rests.

Thank You that you give us real glimpses of our children in ways that we NEED to see them, so that we can be your hands and feet to them while they are in our care. I am so grateful for those 15 minutes that I spent on the floor with Cooper today and I pray that I will never be so busy that I brush over them in the future. I love You.

Saturday, April 5, 2008


We moved in. It rained all day and we still have an outdoor storage closet from the old house to bring over tomorrow, but I am sitting on my couch and I am sleeping in my bed, AND I can breathe!!! Breathing wasn't something that I could do well at the old house, so I am thanking God for that!!!

I am beyond exhausted, in awe of my friends here that have (once again) floored me with the generosity of their time today, and I am just now eating one of the doughnuts we bought everyone that helped us this morning. Thanks for you prayers and comments. I am blessed :)

For now, have a good chuckle at a picture that a recently-reconnected-with-friend from Florida posted on my facebook today. Can you tell what decade I grew up in? This picture could be a WANTED poster for GREENPEACE for the amount of ozone I probably single-handily destroyed while maintaining this do. What on earth was I thinking!?!?! This picture just completely cracked me up and made a great end to a very hard day for me. ENJOY at my expense.

Now you know why I got so excited when I heard that

"The Wedding Singer" was made into a musical!