Since we put Graycen into school, I have sometimes wondered if it was the right decision. Mostly, I am sure it is. However, as a Mom who does believe in most of the benefits that come with homeschooling, I have missed that time with her. As I listened to the kids say their prayers tonight, I received some affirmation of our decision.
I have shared with you that Graycen has a particular classmate that always weighs heavy on her heart. She prays every night (I am not kidding you, EVERY night) for this sweet girl to come to know the Lord. Tonight, she started through a list that it seemed she had been holding in her mind for a few days.
Of course she prayed for the one girl, but then she prayed for another girl who "can't go to church anymore, because her parents don't go" and another boy who "doesn't have a Bible". She rattled off three or four more names and had very specific prayers she was lifting for them. Now tell me, how is a Mama supposed to listen to those prayers WITHOUT tearing up and running to pick her up and swing her around and tell her how proud her Daddy & I are of her and how proud her HEAVENLY Father is of her?!?!?! I didn't though, I let her finish. Then I cried through my turn to pray and I just openly thanked God for my ears. I did! I thanked him for the ability to hear those sweet prayers.
Graycen's prayers reminded me of how perfect God's plan is for her, even though I have NO IDEA what it holds. The reality is that she may indeed, one day, pick up some misinformation that I would rather her not have known. She will probably be influenced, at some point, by someone I would rather her NOT have even KNOWN. Those facts are very, very true. As much as they scare me, I take GREAT COMFORT in knowing that they may very well be what HE has planned for her. How can I argue with that? He is showing me that He has also put her in a position to plead on he behalf of these other little souls. He saved her own little life a few years ago and He has put her in this class for a reason.
I still hold hope that homeschooling may one day be our reality again, but for now (and until something changes) I am resting in the comfort of knowing that He is watching out for her and listening faithfully to her prayers. I have full confidence that she, in her own little way, is making big waves in the hearts of some of those kids in her class. For now, she is most perfect placed in His will. Even though it isn't what I ever envisioned for her, I am sure it was exactly what He envisioned for her. That is PEACE THAT PASSES UNDERSTANDING in a Mama's heart! As hard as it is to do at times, seeing Him at work in her heart, makes it just a little bit easier for me to step out of the way for a moment, so that HIS glory can shine through her.
**On a side note: We shared the news of Erin's pregnancy with the kids this weekend via a scavenger hunt. They were THRILLED and tonight I listened to 3 of MY babies pray for that little one being knitted together. Again, How is a Mama supposed to get through that with dry eyes?!?!?!?!?!?!